I work with the most paranoid people ever. Yesterday I got an earful of why our gas prices are so high:

We have enough oil to support the entire world forever, but it is under the ocean floor off the West coast, and environmentalists won't let us drill for oil in the ocean because of risks to the environment. These "risks" have been proven untrue, but the environmentalists won't let that cat out of the bag (which makes me wonder how my co-workers know...). It seems strange that the environmentalists would lie to the public about this, but this is why:

The environmentalists are really terrorists that have infiltrated their way into power for the sole purpose of lying to the public about environmental concerns so that we don't drill for oil that could sustain our economy. They are in a position to keep America from supplying it's own oil and driving gas prices down. And how do we know that they are terrorists (this is where the argument really breaks down, so pay attention):

The environmentalist terrorists tell us that plastic is wonderful. However, if you take a boat from California out to Hawaii, at any point on the trip, you could dip your hand into the water, pull it out, and have plastic in your hand. Plastic has littered and taken over our oceans, but environmentalists (terrorists) encourage us to keep using plastic, even though paper would be a better choice because it can be burned, is biodegradeable, and is renewable (I pointed out (to many frowns and terrorist accusations) that trees take quite a while to grow).

And here is the biggest lie the environmentalists (terrorists) tell us: Oil is not renewable. People, according to my co-workers (who, as receptionists, are the untapped economic and environmental resource), oil is renewable, and does not take billions, thousands, or even hundreds of years to be made. Oh no, the environmentalists (terrorists) know how to make it in like a day! That is why gas prices are so low in "terrorist countries" and so high in "non-terrorist countries."

Umm...yikes. I should probably look for a department to work in that won't rot my brain.