Or perhaps I am. I should probably be tested.

Two days ago, I decided to go for a run. I had my ipod, and I was running along, when I realized that I had no idea where I was. I looked around--didn't know any of the cross streets that I saw. oops. So I kept running and eventually found my way back home. I had been meaning to go for a 1 mile jog, because I'm extremely out of shape. When I got home, I figured out that I'd been on a 2.5 mile jog. oops.

Yesterday I thought, man, I'm so in shape, I should do it again. So, I went on a 2 mile jog, ending in sputters and gasps because of the pain in my stiff, stiff legs.

So, what did I do last night? I decided to go for a 4.5 mile walk with my mom and sister. In plastic flip-flops.

About halfway home, it felt like I had a rock in my shoe that I couldn't get out. that, my friends, was the beginning of a blister.

That's right. I have 3 blisters on the bottom of my feet, not to mention the 2 on the top of my feet, and the skin on the sides of my feet that is simply worn off.

When I walk, I look slightly arthritic, and slightly epileptic because my thighs are so stiff that the muscle barely wants to move. I have to ease myself into my work chair like an old woman, and am avoiding movement at all costs.

Today my feet are wrapped in bandages and athletic tape, and I'm wearing my loosest shoes because my feet are too swollen to wear anything else. The shoes don't even match my outfit.

To top it off, my boss came into work this morning, stared and me for a second, and said, "Do you know you have tape all over your feet?" like this could have happened by accident.

Now, here's the retarded part: I'm really looking forward to my next run.